Oopsie!

Accidentally posted some poetry in my side blog, sorry about that! :( Here they all are, at once!

Swan Song Sunrise

One last chance
To write the wrongs
To cleanse my soul
Tonight

One last chance
To wrong the rights
Pull the old hurt out
Tonight

Sunset falls on all of us
But tonight it falls for me
Conceived in sin, destroy within
Swan song sunrise

Cryptic messages
From the heart destroyed
Scattered words scribbled out
Tonight

Looking back
Signed clearly blood
For the ages to see
Tonight

Sunset falls for me tonight
I'll rip the son out of the sky
Night black as my soul tonight
Swan song sunrise

I laughed, I loved
I died inside
A pretty shell for you to enjoy
I wrote, I cried
I bled for you
Tonight I bleed for just myself

Spiraling the drain
The life I cut to shreds
Bloody ribbons on my chest
Tonight

Tonight is all we have left
Tomorrow may not come
Let your light shine through my darkness
Swan song sunrise

Yellow

Staring at an empty yellow wall
It reminds me of the past
Of all the friends I once held close to
All the people that have passed
Into a better life than this one
Can't believe that there is no relief
Here I'm surrounded by the people
Disconnected by their grief

The distance in between us
Is the square of all our pain
Multiplied by our distrusting
To the sum of our disdain
Want to feel connected once again
To the whole of human race
Not another night of loneliness
In this empty yellow space

But now I guess the show's about to start
Turn the stage lights up
Pouring emotion to this yellow wall
Face the apathetic silence

Let the show begin

What Would

What would you do
Where would you go
If you saw the world
Crumbling around you

What would you say
How do you fight
Against the raging
The burning of the night

I stood at the peak
Stared down below
Watched the world
Gently slipping by

Now I remain
But it's not true
Without you here
This world is not my home

Punishment

Punishment

Childish babble flows
Perpetually from this hand
Nothing new, retreaded feelings
Punishment for this puny pride

So tired of trying again
To fall flat on my face
With pen to paper, failing
Just to write

Undeserving of this position
How did the bar get raised so high
Dug my own hole with these hands
To suffer, unable to live up to my image

I don't want to be an angel
I don't want to change the world
I just wanted to write something beautiful
Lay down, breath out, and die

Self

Self

I hate your weakness
The monster you have become
Pick up your feet for once and stand
Quit blaming others for your state
I hate everything you stand for
I hate your self-loathing deprecation
But mostly I hate seeing you
Every morning in my reflection

Untitled

Just a quickie tonight I wrote while thinking of someone very special...

Untitled

You inspire me to greater heights, push me to excel
I want to make you smile for me, to save you from this hell
I burn alive with love for you, consumed within your flame
Embraced within you consciousness, drenched inside your rain
Lay dying arm-in-arm with you, to be reborn by your dawn
Sleep with both eyes open now, just to protect you from harm
I give what I have willingly, against your gifts it is the least
But with my fragile arms around you, I just pray I bring you peace
When you read my words will you understand, the meaning just and true
You will think I wrote it for someone else, but tonight, my love, I write for you

Back With A Vengeance

Well, I took some time off of writing, which is a nice way of saying I've been very uninspired lately. The few things I did try to write were junk, and I finally said to Hell with it, and took a break. I'm glad I did! I went to the bar tonight, and decided to take my notebook and pencil with me (I love writing at the bar). Over the course of two hours (and two beers) I scribbled out SIX new ones, and they aren't too bad either! Hope you enjoy them, I'll try not to be gone for so long again...

Lost

Lost

How do I tell you the feeling deep inside
When the words are sour and ring out hollow
As empty as this lonely night, this wasted life
Can I twist your heart like I used to do

If I show you the empty chairs at Christmas
The places where my friends used to live
The caskets lined and white in my heart
Can you even begin to understand

I try not to complain to you
To whine about the ones I've lost
But over time it all adds up
And it doesn't seem fair tonight

Crystal cold stars to shine down
Unwritten words, uncried tears
Unafraid to face my fate and say
I lived, I loved, and I lost

The Moment Of Shame

The Moment Of Shame

So here I stand
Naked and unashamed
My heart exposed for you to see
Fragile and unafraid
The victim played perfection
Hurt for you and proud
Unable to feel beyond this
The moment of shame

Splash blood against the wall
Battered and unashamed
Emotions exposed for you to feel
Fragile and unafraid
The sad refrain of your happy song
Played in minor key
Unable to see beyond this
The moment of shame

Soul bared for your enjoyment
Naked and ashamed
My heart in your hands to crush
Fragile and afraid
The moment of shame admitting
I was never strong enough
Unable to live beyond this
The moment of my shame

After God Has Gone To Sleep

After God Has Gone To Sleep

Look down on me tonight
Your shattered little sinner
Facing fear alone in this dark
Antiseptic hospital room
Day to day dying to
This will-robbing disease
No cure in sight for me
Trading dignity for days
Waiting to die, don't let me cry
Walking bravely to the light

After God has gone to sleep
Who will hear the prayers
Who will hold their hands and say
Everything will be alright

Look down on me tonight
Your broken little daughter
Punished for an imagined crime
Against the one I love
Day to day trying not to
Make him mad again
No escape in sight for me
Please don't let me wake up
Praying to die, unable to cry
Walking gladly into the light

Who will hear the prayers
After God has gone to sleep
Who will hold their hands and say
Everything will be alright

Look down on me tonight
I'm just a little child
Innocence stolen away in shame
By one I loved so much
Day to day fearing against
The footsteps in the night
No justice in sight for me
Please just let him die
I swear that tonight I'll just have to try
To watch bravely for the coming light

Who will hear the prayers
After God has gone to sleep
Who will hold their hands and say
Everything will be alright

Look down on me tonight
As I try to do justice to their pain
To tell them they aren't alone anymore
The sun will rise again
As I hold them tight and tell them
Everything will be alright
No end in sight for this madness
Please just do not let them die
Help me bring comfort to their broken hearts
And tell the stories of their forgotten light

I Never Knew

I Never Knew

I just wanted to show you something
You have never seen before
A love so true it could melt the sky

I just wanted to show you a part of me
I have never shown before
A melancholy pain from a live long lived

I just wanted to open myself to things
I've never felt before
A light in the darkness of my soul

But I never knew this would happen
That you would feel my pain
That I would feel their pain
I never knew that when I tried to help
I would spread the pain around

So now you're hooked on my love
Now I'm hooked on their pain
And they finally have an outlet for some peace

Noise

Noise

There is too much noise tonight
For me to try to think
How can I paint the world for you
If I can't focus on the brush
I can't dance for you tonight
Through the rain of our tears
So I'll just say that there is
Too much noise

Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor

Five years later I can still remember
The fear I felt that day
Before I knew who survived and who died
Before I knew the reason why
I remember wondering if I told my friends
How much I loved them
This is my generations Pearl Harbor

Five long years celebrating those who
By God's grace survived
Mourning those who didn't, wondering
Was there ever a reason why
The senselessness of it, and all that followed
A day to live in infamy
This is my generations Pearl Harbor

Bad Adam!

So, I got home tonight and checked my archive of this site, and guess what? The missing poems are still missing! I obviously didn't think it through well enough when I posted before; it archives directly off of this blog, so if it isn't here, it isn't there. :( Sorry guys, guess I'll have to write new ones...

Images of Me

Images of Me

I shred myself to shame for you
Jsut so you can feel my pain
Live in perpetual cloud cover
Never to escape the rain
Lighting torches to my past
So that you can see these scars
Painting portraits of a victim
Falling down amidst the stars
Ripping pages from my history
The story uncomplete
But I've raised the bar too high now
There's no way I can compete

WTF???

Where did all my posts go??? I don't know either! I had posted probably four or five new poems since the last one that shows up (Oct 26), but now I don't see any of them... Man, makes me look like a slacker!

Well, I'm not sure what happened, may have been a glitch in the system, maybe I hit the wrong button, maybe the cosmic cows decided that they didn't like my new poetry. Whatever it was, I'm going to try to get some of them back up here as soon as I can (my archives are at home, and I'm at work), sorry to everyone about the big mess up! I'll try to write a couple here at work too to tide you over until then...

Sorry again!
Dr S

X-Acto Real

X-Acto Real

Lay down as I bleed myself
Into your open arms
Watch me as I cut myself
See which of us it harms

Burning matches, open hatches
Just to let in the rain
As I'm choking I am hoping
That you're feeling my pain

You don't need me, just delete me
Throw me out into the night
Straight from the jacket
Never really alright

Into the unknown world
Face the demon sky
A goodbye, a so-long
A final goodnight

Therapy Bill

Therapy Bill

I know it's wrong to love you
This damned much for all these years
He takes you for granted because
You've always given him your love
I'm afraid to tell you while
You're running my thoughts down
You'll send me off to someone else
I know I can never have you but
You've had my heart all this time

Nice Guy

Nice Guy

I let it happen again, I swore I wouldn't
Are we on or are we not
I put up with your shit, I listen all the time
So tired of being the nice guy
Pull me out a few days a month
When everyone else is fed up with you
I don't want to be just your sometimes friend
I don't want to be your emotional tampon